SIGNS YOU MAY HAVE A CODEPENDENT PARENT

The Fine Line Between Caring and Codependence

The first thing that comes to mind when we hear the term “codependent” is usually an abusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. However, this is not always the case. Believe it or not, most codependent relationships are between a parent and child, not romantic partners. In a codependent parent-child relationship, the lines between protective and obsessive, engaged and over-involved are often blurred beyond recognition. The caregiver/care-receiver nature of a parent-child relationship makes codependency particularly difficult to detect.

Here are a few signs to help you figure out whether your parent-child relationship is codependent.

1. The Codependent Parent Has a Victim Mentality

We all face obstacles in life, but the codependent parent believes that the other people in their life, particularly their children, owe them penance for the wrongs committed against them. Often this manifests in guilt-tripping behavior intended to garner sympathy from the child for negative experiences the parent has been through, with the end goal of altering the child’s behavior in a way that will somehow set things right.

This is where the problems begin. Rather than dealing with the traumas and difficulties in their own life through healthy means such as self-reflection and therapy, the codependent parent latches onto a child and demands compensation.

Compensation can take many forms. Many times a codependent parent will live vicariously through a child. For example, a mother who got pregnant in her teen years may demand repayment of the burden she faced by putting expectations on her daughter to seize advantages in life that she missed out on. A codependent father may demand that his son excel in sports to make up for his own lack of athleticism in childhood. If the child shows signs of taking their own path in life, the parent will use guilt to manipulate them into compliance.

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Rather than dealing with the traumas and difficulties in their own life, the codependent parent latches onto a child and demands compensation.

2. The Codependent Parent Is Never Wrong

In normal relationships, one party is right some of the time but never all of the time. In a codependent parent-child relationship, the parent is always right. Even when the child is an adult, the parent will refuse to approach an argument or even a simple discussion with openness to the possibility of being wrong. Instead, they will seek to impose their own view of the situation and “correct” the adult child, as opposed to engaging in a discussion where neither party is presumed right by default.

So rather than listening to the child's feelings and problems and learning about the child's personality and way of being in the world, every situation becomes a threat to parent's authority.

Even if it becomes apparent that the codependent parent is wrong, they will not apologize—or, if they do, it will come off as forced or insincere. The codependent parent requires absolute dominance over the child, and any admission of wrongdoing on their part would be a sign of weakness and an invitation to challenge their dominance in the relationship.

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In a codependent parent-child relationship, the parent is always right.

3. The Codependent Parent Is Overly Emotional

People sometimes end up crying, yelling, and giving others the silent treatment, but the codependent parent has refined these acts into an art form. When they feel that they are losing control of a situation or the upper hand in an argument, they will resort to crying, screaming, and other acts of intimidation to restore the balance in their favor. If called out on this manipulation tactic, the codependent parent will often accuse the child of being callous or insensitive, or feign ignorance altogether.

If the child cries or expresses hurt or anger, the codependent parent may get unusually angry and claim that the display, no matter how genuine, is insincere and being used to manipulate when, in reality, they are upset that their tactic is being turned around on them.

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The codependent parent has refined crying, yelling, temper tantrums, and silent treatments into an art form.

4. The Codependent Parent Never Listens

Many children of codependent parents complain that speaking with their parent is like “talking to a brick wall.” In fact, one doesn’t speak with a codependent parent as much as to them. No matter how valid the argument, the codependent parent will not be moved in their position. Instead, even when presented with irrefutable facts that would cause a normal person to reconsider and reevaluate their position, the codependent parent will either refute the facts or move onto a different argument without addressing the point being made.

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Speaking with a codependent parent is like “talking to a brick wall.”

5. The Codependent Parent Parrots Words and Phrases

Instead of listening to the child's feelings, a codependent parent will parrot, mirror, or mimic them. If the child claims that the parent is hurting their feelings, for example, the codependent parent will, perhaps seconds or even hours later, return with, “You’re hurting my feelings!” Whatever concern the child expresses, the codependent parent will find a way to turn it around and regurgitate it as their own, thus reversing the defensive and offensive roles in the conversation. If called out on this behavior, the codependent parent will ignore it, become angry, or act bewildered and confused.

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The codependent parent will find a way to appropriate the child's feelings and present them as their own, thus reversing the defensive and offensive roles in the conversation.

6. The Codependent Parent Has Mood Swings

Drastic mood swings can happen over a couple of minutes or a couple of days, but the codependent parent has the ability to rapidly shift from one mood to another. This is especially true when their manipulation tactics have succeeded in garnering the child’s acquiescence. The codependent parent may be yelling and screaming one moment, but once they get their way, they may be exuberant. Conversely, they may sulk in an effort to rebuff any guilt as a result of their power play.

For example, a mother screaming at her son for not calling often enough may eventually get him to give in and promise to call more. Once she attains what she wants, in an effort to keep her victory and her role as the victim, she may say something like, “No, never mind. I don’t want you to call. You’ll just be doing it because you have to.” Then, the son will not only have to call more, but ensure her that this is what he truly wants to do of his own free will, thus absolving her from any responsibility and guilt.

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The codependent parent will rapidly shift from one mood to another in order to avoid responsibility and guilt.

7. The Codependent Parent Must Maintain Control at All Costs

Control is the end goal of all codependent parents. Most codependent parents expect a level of devotion and love from their children that is unhealthy and unnatural, intended to make up for that which they lack in other relationships. Often the codependent parent wishes to garner from their child the love and/or attention they failed to receive from their own parents. This creates a dramatic role reversal of the parent-child relationship and turns it into a vampiric dynamic rather than a mutually beneficial one.

Whatever it is that the codependent parent seeks to gain by controlling the adult child, when it becomes clear that they won’t succeed, a meltdown will often ensue. If the parent controls with guilt by appearing frail and playing the victim card, they may become suddenly venomous and aggressive when the adult child refuses to give them what they want. Conversely, a codependent parent who controls through subtle manipulation and passive-aggression may suddenly become dominant and plainspoken.

It is important to remember that these dramatic shifts in the face of lost control are not a mood swing or an “episode.” Instead, the codependent parent is revealing their true nature as opposed to the façade they must maintain in order to keep things going their way. Once there is no hope of getting their way, this façade will become useless and be easily stripped away.

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Often the codependent parent wishes to garner from their child the love and/or attention they failed to receive from their own parents.

8. The Codependent Parent Manipulates – Subtly

The most effective form of manipulation is the kind that you can never be called out for directly. Examples include the silent treatment, passive aggressive comments, denial of wrongdoing and projection, among others. The codependent parent will leave the child in a state of confusion, wondering who really is “the bad guy.”

Often, the parents will be genuinely unaware of their own manipulation. Many codependent parents truly believe that they are doing what’s in their child’s best interest and execute some of the most unsettling control tactics and manipulative power plays with simultaneous mastery and obliviousness. In fact, when called out on their manipulation with specific examples, the codependent parent will often be genuinely and deeply hurt and bewildered.

In fact, the codependent parent does not usually manipulate because they wantto; they manipulate because they have to. They simply don’t know any other way to communicate with the adult child who is beyond their direct control. Thus, they will manipulate with finances, emotion, guilt, and any other tool at their disposal to maintain the imbalance of the codependent relationship.

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Examples of things codependent parents will use to subtly maintain power:

guilt trips,

the silent treatment,

passive-aggression,

withholding (of money, time, or affection),

denial of wrongdoing,

and projection, among others.

So You Have a Codependent Parent... What Should You Do?

This is not an exhaustive list, but it does cover the basic signs and symptoms of codependency to watch out for. In my experience with my own codependent parent, many of these are hard to recognize but, on closer inspection, they deviate significantly from the norms of a healthy parent-child relationship.

There is no single, quick, or easy way to deal with a codependent parent. It depends on the individuals as well as the severity of the codependency within the relationship. In some cases, the only thing the adult child can do is sever ties with the codependent parent completely. In others, carefully imposed boundaries, discussion, and family therapy can be used to maintain a healthy relationship for both parties.

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Many codependent parents truly believe that they are doing what’s in their child’s best interest.

HOW TO WHITEN YOUR TEETH NATURALLY AT HOME

Whitening Your Teeth

Trying to whiten your teeth can be a hassle. Getting your teeth whitened professionally can be expensive and sometimes damaging to your teeth. The whitening kits at the stores can be expensive as well and you never know which ones really work. The problem with most whitening techniques is that they can cause damage to the enamel making your teeth weak and sensitive. Luckily there are lots of ways you can whiten your teeth naturally at home. These methods are inexpensive and are safe to use. Another thing that is great about these methods is that they don't take much time and you can use them more often than professional whitening kits.

Using Strawberries

Strawberries have natural whitening qualities. They contain malic acid which is great for removing stains. There are a few different ways you can use strawberries to whiten your teeth a few of them are listed below.

Strawberry Rub

• Take one strawberry
• Cut the strawberry in half
• Rub one half of the strawberry across your teeth
• Leave on for 5 to 10 minutes
• Brush your teeth with toothpaste as usual

This is the perfect thing to do to whiten your teeth and you are short on time or money. This is something you can use once or twice a week depending on your preference.

Strawberries and Baking Soda

• Mash up one or two strawberries
• Use the strawberry juice to brush your teeth
• Wait five minutes
• Mix a tablespoon of baking soda with water to get a toothpaste like consistency
• Brush your teeth with the baking soda mixture
• Rinse the your mouth with warm water
• Brush teeth with tooth paste as usual

This method takes more time but is very effective. The combination of the strawberries and baking soda works wonders when it comes to whitening your teeth. Mixing the two ingredients however does not get the same results. The best results are from using one then the other.

Using Walnut Tree Bark

This bark removes stains visibly when used. It is not the best tasting remedy but the results are worth is. Walnut tree bark can be found on walnut trees and some health food stores but be easily found online. How to use the walnut tree bark is listed below.

Walnut bark rub

• Take a small piece of bark
• Gently rub the bark on your teeth
• Avoid rubbing your gums or rubbing to roughly
• Brush your teeth as usual after 5 to 10 minutes

Using Orange Peels and Bay Leaves

Orange peels and bay leaves together make a great at home teeth whitener. They are inexpensive and may already be in your kitchen. This only takes minutes. How to use this method is listed below.

Orange peel and bay leaf rub

• Peel an orange
• Take a few pieces of the peel
• Rub the peel on your teeth
• Crush up bay leaves until they are a powder
• Rub the bay leaf powder onto your teeth
• Leave on for 5 minutes
• Rinse out your mouth with water

This method is best used once a week. The acidity of the orange peel eats away bacteria and gets rid of stains. The bay leaves soak up the stains and discoloration.

Using Bananas

Banana peels are a great for whitening your teeth. They don't cause much damage and are inexpensive. This method is quick and easy taking only five minutes to use. How to use banana peels to whiten your teeth is listed below.

Banana peel rub

• Peel a banana
• Take a section of the peel and rub onto your teeth
• Rub for two to three minutes
• Then rinse your mouth with warm water

This method can be used once or twice a week.

Apple Cider Vinegar

Apple cider vinegar can be used for many things. One of those things is whitening your teeth. It may not taste that wonderful but it works really well at removing stains. How to use apple cider vinegar to whiten your teeth is listed below.

Apple cider vinegar mouth rinse

• Pour a small glass of the vinegar
• Take a gulp without swallowing
• Swish it around in your mouth like mouth wash
• Spit out when you are done
• Rinse your mouth out with warm water

This is best done once a week. The taste can be hard to handle but the results are worth it.

Apple cider vinegar and baking soda

• In a small bowl mix the vinegar with the baking soda into a mixture that is the consistency of tooth paste
• Apply the paste to your teeth
• Leave on for 5 to 10 minutes
• Rinse mouth out with warm water
• Then brush teeth regularly

Using Baking Soda

Baking soda is another all natural product that can be used to whiten your teeth. The baking soda is able to be absorbed through the enamel and kills plaque and lightens stains. How to use baking soda in tooth whitening listed below.

Using baking soda as a toothpaste

• Mix a spoon full of baking soda with a little water
• The consistency should be that of tooth paste
• Then brush your teeth with the mixture
• Try not to swallow any
• Leave the mixture on your teeth for 10 minutes
• Then rinse your mouth with warm water
• Wait another 5 minutes and then brush your teeth with tooth paste ass usual

Mixing baking soda with toothpaste

• Mix a small amount of toothpaste with some baking soda
• Brush your teeth as usual
• Rinse your mouth with warm water

Both of these methods are effective and have been used for a long time. The first method takes longer but has better results and should only used once a week at the most. The second method can be used a couple of times a week and takes less time.

Prevention

Once your teeth are sparkly white you probably want to keep them that way. Using the all natural whitening methods regularly will help to do this but there are some things you can avoid or cut back on to prevent stains altogether.Some of the common culprits of stains are listed below.

• Coffee
• Dark tea
• Dark sodas and soft drinks
• Dark liquors
• Cigarettes
• Drug abuse
• Tomato sauce
• Blueberries
• Citrus fruits
• Chewing tobacco
• Some prescribed medications
• Acid reflux disease

The best way to keep your teeth beautiful and healthy is to brush and floss regularly. This helps prevents stains by removing plaque quickly.

TOP 10 GREATEST MEN'S TENNIS PLAYERS OF ALL TIME

I grew up playing tennis in the 1970s, which was a great time for the sport of tennis. It was then that tennis really became more of a mainstream sport than a sport for the privileged, especially here in the United States. With the likes of Jimmy Connors, Bjorn Borg, John McEnroe, Chris Evert, and others, there were plenty of personalities to fuel the rivalries that took place on and off the court. Since that time, many great players have come and gone. Because it is difficult to compare players of different eras in any sport due to technology changes and higher fitness standards, selecting a greatest player ever can be a difficult and very subjective task.

Despite the challenge, here is my list of the 10 greatest male tennis players of all-time.

10. John McEnroe

• Born: February 16, 1959
  Wiesbaden, West Germany
• Resides: New York City
• Turned pro: 1978
• Retired: 1992
• Career prize money: $12,547,797
• 71 career titles
• 7 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 3 Wimbledon, 4 US Open
• Inducted into Tennis Hall of Fame: 1999

John McEnroe: What do we do about Johnny Mac? Well, for starters we include him on our list of all-time greats. When it came to hard courts, fast surfaces, and creative shot-making, there may have been no one better.

His fiery attitude and occasional bad-boy behavior made tennis fans either hate him or love him. Underneath was a highly competitive athlete who hated to lose and sometimes let his emotions get the best of him.

Who can forget his epic battles with rival Jimmy Connors and his five-set loss to Bjorn Borg in the 1980 Wimbledon final, one of the greatest matches in Wimbledon history?

9. Andre Agassi

• Born: April 29, 1970
  Las Vegas, Nevada
• Resides: Las Vegas, Nevada
• Turned pro: 1986
• Retired: 2006
• Career prize money: $31,152,975
• 60 career titles
• 8 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 4 Australian, 1 French, 2 US Open, 1 Wimbledon
• Inducted into Tennis Hall of Fame: 2011

Who can forget the young, brash, long-haired Andre Agassi when he first arrived on the tennis scene in the late 1980s? I have to admit that at first I was put off by his seemingly "rock star" looks and attitude. But something happened along the way, and by the time he finished his 20-year career, I was not only a fan but I had also come to respect him as a great player and spokesman for the game.. With those killer ground strokes and returns of serve, no top-10 list would be complete without Andre Agassi.

Off the court, Agassi has proven to be a champion as well. There may be no athlete out there who does more for their community than Agassi and his wife, tennis legend Steffi Graf.

8. Jimmy Connors

• Born: September 2, 1952
  East St. Louis, Illinois
• Resides: Santa Barbara, CA
• Turned pro: 1972
• Retired: 1996
• Career prize money: $8,641,040
• 109 career titles
• 8 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 1 Australian, 2 Wimbledon, 5 US Open
• Inducted into Tennis Hall of Fame: 1998

No one dominated tennis more during the mid-1970s than Jimmy Connors. In 1974 alone, Connors had a staggering 99-4 record and won the three Grand Slam tournaments that he entered. Connors was banned from playing in the French Open in 1974 due to his association with World Team Tennis, and this prevented him from a possible Grand Slam sweep. Despite peaking in the 1970s, Connors had a long and impressive tennis career, retiring in 1996. Connors still holds the record for ATP tour titles with 109.

7. Ivan Lendl

• Born: March 7, 1960
  Ostrava, Czechoslovakia
• Resides: Goshen, Connecticut
• Turned pro: 1978
• Retired: 1994
• Career prize money: $21,262,417
• 94 career titles
• 8 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 2 Australian, 3 French, 3 US Open
• Inducted into Tennis Hall of Fame: 2001

The quiet and stoic Czech with the big serve was the most dominant player of the 1980s. Lendl wore down his opponents with his powerful ground strokes, topspin forehand and incredible level of conditioning. He was the world’s top-ranked player for four years and held the number one ranking in the world for 270 weeks, a record in that day. In contrast to many of his more outspoken peers, Lendl was known for letting his game do his talking.

6. Bjorn Borg

• Born: June 6, 1956
  Sodertalje, Stockholm County, Sweden
• Resides: Stockholm, Sweden
• Turned pro: 1973
• Retired: 1983
• Career prize money: $3,655,751
• 64 career titles
• 11 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 6 French, 5 Wimbledon
• Inducted into Tennis Hall of Fame: 1987

What was not to love about the long-haired, blonde Swede with the killer ground game? With ice water in his veins, the quiet Borg dominated tennis in the late 1970s and had some memorable matches with the likes of John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors. Borg dominated Wimbledon, winning the title five consecutive years from 1976 to 1980.

Despite his relatively brief career (he retired in 1983 at the age of 26), Borg won 11 Grand Slam titles, all at Wimbledon and the French Open. Borg was the first player of the modern era to win more than 10 majors.

5. Novak Djokovic

• Born: May 22, 1987
  Belgrade, Yugoslavia
• Resides: Monte Carlo, Monaco
• Turned pro: 2003
• Career prize money: $98,199,548
• 63 career titles
• 11 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 6 Australian, 3 Wimbledon, 2 US Open
• Current active player

Placing Novak Djokovic on this list was an easy decision, but where to place him was not. At just 28 years of age and in the prime of his career, Djokovic has the potential to win many more Grand Slam titles. By the time his career is finished, he could very well find himself well into the top five all-time. But, in the highly competitive world of tennis, he could also succumb to injury and miss out on his best years, so the jury is still out on his place in tennis history. Based on his body of work to date he has certainly made the case that he is the best player in the world at the moment and deserving of a top ten all-time.

With eleven Grand Slam titles now secured, including the 2016 Australian Open, and at just 28 years of age, Novak deserves to be elevated to the number five position. The likeable Djokovic certainly has the potential to rise further.

4. Rafael Nadal

• Born: June 3, 1986
  Manacor, Majorca, Balearic Islands, Spain
• Resides: Manacor, Majorca, Balearic Islands, Spain
• Turned pro: 2001
• Career prize money: $76,023,547
• 67 career titles
• 14 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 1 Australian, 9 French, 2 US Open, 2 Wimbledon
• Current active player

Were it not for the recurring tendinitis in his knees, Rafael Nadal may well have a few more Grand Slam titles to his already impressive resume. At 29 years of age, the fiery Spaniard, known as Rafa and “The King of Clay,” already has 14 Grand Slam titles and certainly has the potential to surpass Pete Sampras’s total of 14. Rafael is regarded as the greatest clay court player of all-time, although fans of Bjorn Borg may dispute this claim. His record 9th French Open title certainly makes it difficult to imagine anyone being better on clay. His latest bout of tendinitis seems to be behind him, so look for some great head-to-head matches in the coming years with Novak Djokovic, Andy Murray, and Roger Federer.

Rafa's comeback from injury in 2013 saw him return to form. His two Grand Slam titles in 2013, the French and US Open, marked his return to the top of world rankings. If he stays healthy, look for more Grand Slam titles to come.

3. Rod Laver

• Born: August 8, 1938
  Rockhampton, Queensland, Australia
• Resides: Carlsbad, California
• Turned pro: 1962
• Retired 1979
• Career prize money: $1,565,413
• 200 career titles
• 11 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 3 Australian, 2 French, 2 US Open, 4 Wimbledon
• Inducted into Tennis Hall of Fame: 1981

It’s difficult to assess how Rod Laver would have fared against the players of today, but I suspect the redheaded Aussie would have done just fine. It’s hard to argue with the “Rockets” record. He was ranked number one in the world for seven straight years (1964 – 1970) and has more career titles (200) than anyone in the history of the game.

He is the only player to have twice won the Grand Slam, doing it once as an amateur in 1962 and again as a pro in 1969. If Laver was not excluded from the Grand Slam tournaments during a five-year period in the mid-1960s, who knows how many he would have won. During this time period, the pre-open era, the Grand Slam tournaments were for amateurs only. The “open era” in tennis did not begin until 1968, when professionals were finally allowed to compete in the Grand Slam events. Given that Laver was ranked number one in the world during this five-year period, it’s likely he would have won many more Grand Slam titles.

2. Pete Sampras

• Born: August 12, 1971
  Potomac, Maryland
• Resides: Lake Sherwood, California
• Turned pro: 1988
• Retired 2002
• Career prize money: $43,280,489
• 64 career titles
• 14 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 2 Australian, 7 Wimbledon, 5 US Open
• Inducted into Tennis Hall of Fame: 2007

If the likes of Roger Federer had not come along, Pete Sampras would certainly be the number one player of all-time. When Pete retired in 2002, he was considered to be the best player of all-time. He was number one in the world rankings for six consecutive years and his 14 Grand Slam titles was a record at the time. Who can forget his epic battles with Andre Agassi that made the 1990s a great decade for tennis? Pete went out on top when he won the 2002 US Open, his last Grand Slam tournament.

1. Roger Federer

• Born: August 8, 1981
  Basel, Switzerland
• Resides: Wollerau, Switzerland and Dubai, UAE
• Turned pro: 1998
• Career prize money: $97,855,881
• 88 career titles
• 17 Grand Slam Singles Titles: 4 Australian, 1 French, 5 US Open, 7 Wimbledon
• Current active player

It’s hard not to select Roger Federer as the greatest of all time. His record 17 Grand Slam titles speak for themselves, and even at the age of 34, he is still capable of winning another title. His 302 weeks ranked as number one in the world is an open-era record. From 2004 to 2008, Federer went 237 consecutive weeks being ranked number one in the world, a record that may never be surpassed. Even though younger players are now finding a way to beat Roger, his consistently high level of play over his almost 18-year career is a testament to his conditioning and ability. In my book, Roget Federer is the greatest of all-time.

HOW TO CHANGE THE WORLD IN 24 HOURS

As a child, we often got told to make wishes. Blow out your birthday candles, make a wish. Its 11:11, make a wish. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?The most common answer for a child is a pony; a bike; a holiday to Disneyland. However, as we grow older we desire more global outcomes such as the end to world hunger, the need to achieve world peace, the wish to have a healthy body and mind…

What if I told you these wishes can come true? They could come true today. Just by changing your diet.

Every day 2.6 million cows are slaughtered for meat at a weight of 1,250 pounds (lbs). For every 1 pound of meat, a cow must eat 6 pounds of corn. This means that every day a 19.5 million pounds of corn is fed to cows worldwide. The US alone could feed 800 million people just by giving grain to starving people, instead of force-feeding cows which will die within 18 months of birth.

In fact, in 2011, 883 million tons of corn and 260 million tons of soybeans were grown globally. However, 50% of corn and 80% of soybeans were fed to livestock rather than the 925 million people who face hunger and starvation each day.

My question is: why are we allowing children, women and men to starve just to satisfy our dietary wishes?

Despite popular beliefs, animal products (meat, dairy, eggs, ect) are not healthy. By avoiding meat, you can lower the risk of cancer, lower the risk of heart disease, and lower the risk of kidney/gallstones. Not only that, but meat can carry diseases due to the disgusting conditions animals are kept in. Antibiotics are pumped into the livestock’s feed in attempt to avoid such diseases, however this also affects the consumer of the meat by causing a development of intolerance to antibiotics, making it more difficult for doctors to cure illnesses in humans.

As for dairy, we’ve all been told to drink milk for strong bones, however, studies show that we’ve all been lied to. Instead of providing calcium for developing bones, dairy does quite the opposite. Dairy is the leading cause of osteoporosis; this is because animal products, especially dairy, produce poisonous by-products when broken down which causes problems with digestion due to the body’s attempt at buffering the toxins before eliminating them. Put simply, humans are not supposed to drink cow’s milk. If your dog had just had pups, would you take her milk and pour it on your cereal? If your cat had just had kittens, would you take her milk and pour it on your cereal? If a chimp just had a baby, would you take her milk and pour it on your cereal? No? Then why do you take a cow’s milk?

And eggs? They cause high cholesterol. Enough said.

Not only are the physical benefits better for your health, but so are the mental benefits. Studies have shown that those who avoid eating animal products have lower stress levels and it also aids in lowering anxiety levels and depression.

What’s not to love?

By changing your diet in just one day, you can drastically improve your health, contribute to ending world hunger and join the fight for world peace by not taking part in the ruthless slaughter of animals.

WHY DO PEOPLE CUT THEMSELVES

What is cutting?

If you are reading this article, are are most likely interested in finding out about teenage cutting, and more importantly, 'why do people cut themselves'? Cutting is a destructive habit that involves self-injury and self-harm. People who cut often use sharp objects such as needles, knives or razor blades to cut or scratch their skin to the point of bleeding. People most commonly cut in body parts that can easily be hidden, such as the inner wrist and the thigh, but the inner palm, stomach, legs are also common areas. You will notice that people who cut are most likely to be seen in long-sleeved shirts or tops and full length pants, even though the weather may be hot. They do this to hide their wounds, or scars that are formed when their wounds heal. You will also find that teenage cutting is quite common in today's world. You might be wondering, 'Why would anyone want to harm themselves?' and 'Why do people cut themselves, anyway?" Cutting is a serious mental disorder and is often done impulsively without forethought. After cutting, people often feel ashamed and wish they had not done it in the first place. However, as an addiction, people find themselves going back to cutting. This is especially true for teenage cutting.

Why is cutting addictive?

Once people start cutting, they find that they cannot stop. They may say to themselves, "This is the last time, and then I won't do it again," or "I can always stop when I want to," or "I have control over this, I can stop whenever I want to." This is how teenage cutting becomes addictive. The person believes they have the control and can stop when they want to, but this is seldom the case.

Starting to cut and feeling a strong urge to do it over and over again is compulsive behaviour. It is habit forming and is fatal. Just like any other addiction, people who cut start associating the act of cutting with the temporary relief that they get.

To make it clearer, think of people who are binge eaters. They know that compulsive overeating is bad for them - but over time, their minds begin to associate binge eating and the relief it provides them as a way to escape intense emotions or disturbing memories.

Similarly, the minds of those who cut start making a connection between cutting and their childhood abuse to the temporary relief that cutting brings as a means of escape and false deliverance. This is one of the reasons that answers your question, "Why do people cut themselves?"

But cutting only provides temporary relief for less than 5 minutes. Once that numbness from cutting elapses, you immediately look down and see what you have done, only to find yourself in disappointment, disgust, more pain and shame.

What group is more likely to cut?

Many people who cut themselves are in their preteen to teen stages; but many carry this habit to adulthood as well. It has also been found that girls are more likely than boys to cut themselves. Teenage cutting is a growing problem in society today thanks to increasing divorces, disfunctional families and negative messages bombarded through media.

Why do people cut themselves?

Now you may be wondering why anyone would ever want to injure themselves and cause pain to themselves. Indeed it may seem unfathomable that anyone would deliberately pick up a sharp object to cause harm to themselves. Many people who cut themselves do this as a way of coping with situations in their life that they think are too stressful or painful to bear. Of course, cutting is not the best way to cope with life's troubles at all. Cutting does not help solve the problem at hand - if anything, cutting only adds on to the problems one already has.

When I was in high school, I had a friend who used to cut himself. He would mostly use needles, sometimes fountain pens to sharply indent his skin to the point where he forms deep cuts that left behind pink scars. On the outside, he seemed like a very social, happy and outgoing person but when he went back home, he would occasionally cut himself. It was his way of coping with all the pressure that was on him from his family, who expected him to get straight A's and his friends, who expected him to constantly be 'cool' and 'in with the gang'. Obviously, cutting himself was not the right thing to do, but as a young teen, that was something he did that made him feel better - but only temporarily.

Reasons Why People May Cut

So, why do people cut themselves? There are various reasons why people cut themselves. Below are some of the reasons;

1. Some people cut to get 'relief' from pent up feelings. Cutting gives them a false sense of respite from their mental stress or emotional problems.
2. Cutting may give them a platform to express intense feelings such as depression, rejection, anger, betrayal or confusion.
3. Curiosity. There are some people who are led to cutting simply by curiosity. Ever heard the saying "Curiosity killed the cat"? Well, as much as curiosity can be a good thing, in this case, it does not lead to any benefit at all. At first, they may try out cutting as a harmless innocent thing, but this is addictive and compulsion to cut may cause life-threatening situations. As teens are in a stage of exploring and are more curious in that stage of life, they are more likely to indulge in dangerous habits such as smoking, drinking and self-injury through cutting.
4. Emotional abuse or physical abuse may cause some people to close off the outside world and become reclusive. In this state, they may resort to cutting.
5. Adding on to the above, many victims of emotional and physical abuse often feel 'unclean' and 'disgusted' with themselves that they cut themselves as a way of punishing themselves. Most such victims feel that it was their fault that some one physically or mentally abused them and so they punish themselves for their 'crime' by cutting or self-injuring themselves.
6. Self-hatred. Many people who cut themselves do not appreciate themselves or their bodies. They find themselves to be 'ugly' or 'fat', and in a desperate situation, they harm themselves by cutting, to get a quick fix for their problem. If they learn to love themselves, they wouldn't dream of deliberately harming themselves.
7. Too much pressure or stress can cause teenagers to resort to cutting. You would be surprised to know that many teens who cut themselves are actually honor studentsReasons why peop

How can you help someone who cuts themselves?

Stopping the habit of cutting is not an easy thing for someone who has already begun cutting.

1. Encourage them to indulge in a productive and healthy hobby. Inform the person that there are other ways to get rid of emotional burdens and societal pressures. Dealing with emotional pain and stress can be daunting but cutting is not the solution. Help them find healthier ways of occupying themselves such as photography or scrapbooking, which is not only fun but is also a great way to express oneself.
2. We care about you. Show them that there are people who care for them. If one of your friends is cutting, show them how much you care for them and how much you wouldn't want them to get hurt or lose them. They may realize that there are so many people who care for them after all, and out of compassion for all those who love them, they may leave cutting.
3. Get them to exercise. Helps strengthen the immune system and boost up good hormones in the body such as seratonin, which help you feel content and relaxed. Exercise is not only a way to keep busy and occupy yourself, but is also a great way to tone up, get fit and improve general well being. Most especially for teenagers, exercise does not have to mean hitting the gym and walking on the treadmill for an hour - you can make 'exercise' fun by engaging in any sports activity such as swimming, tennis, volleyball or soccer.
4. Get them to join a club. Find out what they like. For example, do they like wildlife? If they do, they can join a wildlife club. Do they like crafts? Get them to join a crafts club. Joining a club can enable them to be surrounded by like-minded people and this can make them feel more secure and comforted. Many teens who feel awkward or like the odd one out at high school can find solace in the like-minded people that they may meet in these clubs.
5. Charity. Serving the community and taking the time to help out needy people by helping them build houses etc can do wonders for anyone. When I was in high school, we had a week of community service where we joined a local charity organisation to help a poor community build permanent structures to dwell in. Just helping to lay a few bricks and interacting with the people, was a life-changing experience. It helps you to see that there are people out there who are less fortunate than you. It helps you become more grateful and more appreciative of your life.
6. Talk about it. Many teens cut in secret and may be very afraid to tell an adult about their cutting. Improving your relationship with your child can help them be more relaxed and friendly with you such that they can feel free to share with you. Talking about problems is a good starting step to get your child/friend to stop cutting. 'Problem shared is problem solved.' However, please ensure that you don't came across as too domineering or pushy, else you make the person become even more reclusive and uncorporative.
7. Councelling. Many people who are cutting are doing so because of deeper and more complex issues such as childhood abuse or physical torment. Getting them to see a professional therapist can help them to receive qualified treatment and healing to solve the root cause, such that they can stop cutting.
8. Writing. Writing is a great therapeutic tool that can help relieve tension and pain. Encourage your child/ friend who is cutting to keep a diary to record their observations and thoughts during the day. Poetry is also a great means of expressing ones creativity or locked up emotions, and watching your poem take shape is a rewarding and fulfilling experience, rather than cutting and harming yourself.
9. Join a support group. Joining a support group can help a cutter feel that they are not alone. In a support group, they can share their personal stories and get to hear the stories of other such people. This can help them gain strength and confidence to stop cutting. Online support groups are very convinient and also provide privacy. Here are 3 helpful online support groups; a) Experience Project: I can't stop cutting; b) Support Groups.com - Cutting; c) Daily Strength.com - Self Injury.
10. Learn to Love yourself. If you want to help your friend or child who is cutting, one important thing to do is to get them to love themselves unconditionally. Loving oneself means that you would not hurt yourself in anyway or cause yourself any pain deliberately. Many people who cut themselves are sensitive compassionate souls, who would never hurt another human being. Get them to see themselves and their own bodies as their 'friends'. Ask them, would they hurt a friend? The answer would most definitely be 'no'. If they treat themselves like friends, they would find it easier to not cut.