TOP 10 WAYS MEN DESTROY THEIR MARRIAGE

Neglected Wife Symptoms—Ways Husbands Destroy Their Marriages

It is important to remember that the main goal of marriage should be peace and happiness. So, while this list below may seen daunting, always remember that. If life is stressful, then work on changing your perception. You can see peace instead of stress. You are only one thought away from a peaceful life. If you feel unhappy, seek the things that will fulfill you in life. Just be happy. The simplest route to something is to just be. The only person you can change is yourself.

Also, while both the husband and wife should take responsibility for their part in a marriage, below are ten mistakes common to men. Read on to learn about the behaviors of men which can completely destroy a marriage.

1. Leaving Her Alone

One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. This means things like spending long hours at work and following it up by a beer or several afterward with the guys. Then, when you get home, you don't engage her or your children. Instead, you lose yourself in baseball or computer poker. Also, on the weekends, you'll complain about the messy house, then leave to run errands, and then you don't come back for several hours.

One of the most most miserable experiences for a wife is that feeling of isolation when her husband emotionally leaves the relationship. Yes, she has friends and a job. Yes, she spends a lot of time running the kids around and partaking in activities outside of her husband. It's not the same. Her desire is to spend time with you, the man she loves. To be left alone by her husband causes deep heartache for women. For most women, their largest fears boil down to isolation and deprivation. When she feels abandoned by you, she attacks with hurtful and disrespectful behavior. Her ability to verbally hurt you is her strongest weapon, and she uses it out of fear in an effort to try to get your attention.

When a wife begins to nag because you never spend time at home, never hang out with her, and never engage with the kids, chances are she is feeling abandoned and isolated. When you stop spending time together, the emotional distance between you two grows quickly.

2. Not Getting Close Enough

Your wife feels energized when she feels close to you. Refusing to let her know you is destructive to her and your marriage. While you strive to keep your independence, she longs to connect with you. It is not fair to either of you if you are only affectionate and attentive on the days you want sex or something from her. Affection and closeness ought to be an end in themselves, not a means to a different end.

Talking is not the only way women feel close, although it is an important one. Simple ways to fulfill your wife in this area are to hug her often, hold her hand, and to spend some time alone with her. When her need for closeness is met, she will be more inclined to respect your need for independence. When your wife feels close to you, she will also be more willing to engage with you on a more intimate, sexual level.

The important thing to remember is to help her feel connected. Try talking to her about your day, your fears, hopes, and dreams. Hold her hand when you go out together. Kiss her unexpectedly in the kitchen while she makes dinner. Sit next to her. Ask her how she is doing, and for a few minutes, give her your undivided attention while she answers. A little bit will go a long way and mean everything to her and, in turn, your marriage.

2.1. Closing Yourself Off to Her

Women exist as an integrated circuit. The mind, body, and soul are closely linked — so, hurt feelings affect the entire system. A wife whose spirit is crushed may suffer from fatigue and confusion. Like a strand of Christmas lights — when one light goes out, they all go dark. Men compartmentalize. If one light goes out on his strand, all the other lights function properly, unaffected. Men are able to fully function when one area of their lives is not working properly.

Your wife does not understand the closed-off and mysterious way you operate. Things don't seem to bother you. You never want to talk to her. She knows you are stressed about work, yet you don't show it or express that further to her. She wonders how you can even function. Your wife is not trying to pry or sneak her way into no-man's land. She simply wants you to be open. She wants to truly seeyou. She feels loved when you share your fears, worries, and troubles. She wants to be that person for you and committed to being so when you got married. She won't try to fix you. She will listen.

Try talking to her about what is going on in your life. Women like to vent, without seeking a solution, and she wants to give you the freedom to share yourself verbally.

3. Always Trying to "Fix" Her

Even when she doesn't always say it, your wife sees you as her strength. As the bearer of her burdens. When she comes to you for help to lighten the load from the weight of her world, it is a compliment. She knows you can handle it.

Rather than trying to resolve and repair every issue, however, try to just listen to her. You might even ask if she needs a solution or just an ear. It will be a relief for both of you when you realize that sometimes you don't have to fix all the problems. Furthermore, when you listen, she will feel like you understand her (even if you don't, which is okay).

4. Never Saying "I'm Sorry."

All marriages have conflict. The refusal to apologize is a quick way to destroy yours. While conflict is not a pleasant thing, growth and closeness can increase as conflict is resolved. For your wife, an apology means she has moved forward through the conflict, and she is now seeking peace.

Many husbands see apologizing as a sure sign of weakness. They think, "If I apologize, she won't respect me." On the contrary, if you humbly apologize and ask her forgiveness, your wife will be putty in your hands. Your small act of contrition soothes her spirit, and acts as a healing balm over her heart. Furthermore, it shows that you're open and willing to make things work, that you care enough to admit to your faults and move past and through them.

5. Taking Her Insecurities Too Lightly

Your wife knows she is highly committed to you. When she sees you looking at other women, in the mall, on TV, on the computer, and in other places, she fears that you may be unfaithful and at the very least, it may make her uncomfortable and question your attraction to them, especially if she is solely just looking at you. Regardless, she is insecure and needs your reassurance, not any belittling, joking, or teasing. These activities all devalues her feelings, which are real. When you stare at a cute young thing as she saunters by, it may be a reminder to your wife of her many imperfections. She feels insecure because she wants to know that you still love her and you looking at other women may not be so reassuring of that. It's okay for you to look at other women, in fact, it's perfectly natural. The danger is when you are blatant and aggressive, disregarding your wife's feelings and staring in spite of her discomfort.

Your wife is motivated by your love and loyalty. She has committed her life to you, and wants to feel secure in the fact that you are equally committed to her. A big symbol of your loyalty to your wife is a wedding ring. For a woman, this is a sign of your fidelity. A married man without a ring seems to be trying to hide something. This requires very little effort, if any, on your part to reassure your wife in this way, and yet it would mean the world to her. Her peace of mind ought to be worth the cost of an inexpensive, outward expression of your fidelity. You have nothing to hide. A ring is a simple, outward expression of your devotion to your wife and to your marriage. This small gesture can have deep impact.

When your wife feels insecure, she may ask if you still think she is pretty. She may ask if you love her. She may ask if you think someone else is more attractive. This is not a trap. She feels she is moving toward you, by asking a question and starting a conversation. Talking is how women feel close. She is seeking your assurance of love and loyalty. Rather than make light of the moment, look at her. No, really look at her. Tell her she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Give her the assurance she seeks, and ease her troubled mind.

6. Ignoring the Importance of Simple Gestures

Your wife does not require fancy jewelry or expensive meals. Granted, those things are nice, and you like to treat your wife. However, it isn't always necessary.

She feels most loved by the small tokens of your love and appreciation. When you neglect the small things, it may feel to her like you are trying to buy her affection — or ease your own guilt — with the big things. Let your wife know that she is on your mind during the day. A single rose when you walk in the door speaks volumes to her language of love. Give her a call or send her a text during the day to let her know you are thinking of her. Offer to help with dinner, or wash the dishes. These are small gifts of your time that mean the world to your wife.

For your wife, the most important days of the year are her birthday and the day she married you. Celebrate these days by spending time with just her. It will mean more than any expensive gift ever could. The cost of the gift is secondary to the thought you put into it. She wants to feel special and important to you. The way to help her feel loved is to spend time with her alone. Even if you sit home and watch a movie, give her your undivided attention.

7. Taking All the Fun Out of Sex

When you confuse sex with intimacy, it's no fun. When you only focus on your own orgasm, it's no fun. When you only show interest in your wife when you want to get lucky, it's no fun. When you devalue the depth of your sexual relationship with crude jokes and pornography, it's no fun. When you expect her to get excited instantly, it's no fun. When you neglect your wife's sexual needs, it's no fun.

When you are married, sex is supposed to be fun.

An intimate sharing, designed to bring you closer, sex should cement the bond between you. For example, think of your wife as a crockpot. Meanwhile, in this comparison, you are a microwave. Put a meal in a microwave, and you are eating within three minutes. A crockpot meal takes a lot of forethought. You need the proper ingredients. You have to put everything together, turn it on, and wait. Six or eight hours later, you enjoy a delicious meal. Your wife needs the same thoughtful consideration. Start in the morning with a kiss. Tell her she's beautiful. Women never get tired of hearing that from the man they love. Help get the kids ready for school. After work, ask about her day.

Slow, slow, slow. If you want to bring the fun back into sex, think crockpot, not microwave. You can microwave in the shower (not literally, obviously).

8. Getting Lost in Bitterness and Anger

When you shut your wife out to brood in your despair, it fills her with fear. Women like to talk things out. Men like to shut things out. When you feel stressed about work, about money, about your relationship, you turn inward. This provokes your wife's fear of abandonment and rejection.

She thinks you don't love her when you refuse to speak. This fear, and her desire to resolve conflict, cause your wife to pursue you. She wants to talk it out, not to belittle or demean you, but to feel closer. She wants you to trust her, so she can trust you. She follows you around, asking if everything is alright. You run away from her and avoid wanting to discuss what is bothering you. She knows something is wrong, and she begins to assume that she is the problem.

You can stop this train wreck before it happens by opening up to your wife. She loves you. You can trust her. Share your real feelings with her, and she will open her heart to you.

9. Not Taking Responsibility

Whether it's an addiction, an affair or poor performance in your life, many times, husbands point to their wives as the reason for their weakness. "She makes me drink because of her nagging. I cheated because she wouldn't take care of me. I'm doing poorly because she never encourages me."

It's time to take full responsibility for your own behavior. You need to take ownership of your actions. You choose to drink. You choose to cheat. You choose to work or not work. You actively do all these things on your own. Rather than blaming someone or something else, stand up and take control. Make your life reflect the values you desire. Your life is completely under your control. Today, you can choose differently. You can create exactly the life you want. Furthermore, if your wife really is the root of all the problems in your life, then take control of that as well and man up and tell her the truth. She can't change if you aren't willing to express the problem.

10. Picking the Wrong Woman. Again.

A woman in distress, who just moves from crisis to crisis, will continue to be in distress after you marry her. A nitpicking woman who criticizes your every decision will continue to nitpick. A control freak always wants control, even after the wedding. The bottom line is: if she is the wrong woman before the marriage, she'll be the wrong woman when and after you get married.

If you want a nice wife, then date a nice woman and marry her. Treat her with love and respect and she will return the kindness. Trying to rescue a woman in distress will only lead you to feel used and unappreciated. A strong marriage begins with a good-willed woman and a good-willed man. It flourishes as you both grow in love and respect toward each other.

Choosing the wrong woman sets you up for failure every time. Although you might like the feeling of being a knight in shining armor rescuing a damsel in distress, the reality of being married is much harder and much less idealistic. Marriage takes work, from both the husband and the wife. When both are committed to making the marriage a good experience, then it has a better chance of succeeding.

Work on Yourself

While this list may seem daunting, it is important to remember that the main goal of marriage should be peace and happiness. If life is stressful, work on changing your perception. You can see peace instead of stress. You are only one thought away from a peaceful life. If you feel unhappy, seek those thing that will fulfill you in life. Just be happy. The simplest route to something is to just be. The only person you can change is yourself.

NEGOTIATING CAR PRICE

Nowadays, when it comes time to buy a vehicle, we really do have a lot working in our favor, and a lot of resources at our disposal. There are multiple websites we can use to browse prices, deals, factory rebates, regional discounts—the whole gamut. When buying a vehicle, most consumers can be pretty well informed. But can they deal? Can you wheel and deal with a pro?

Even armed with the Kelly Blue Book values and the Edmunds "True Market Value," and having looked at a million deals online and in the classifieds, when it comes down to it, and you're sitting face to face with a professional car salesperson who haggles every single day, multiple times a day—do you have the gall to haggle with him?

When he says "I'm sorry, but that's what the car's worth," do you have what it takes to say, “You’re wrong?” I'm inclined to think that many do not.

Negotiating Down From the MSRP

You will inevitably wonder: What is a good price for this vehicle? What is a reasonable offer?

Suppose the vehicle’s MSRP—manufacturer’s suggested retail price—is $35,000, and I offer $25,000, what might happen? Are they going to laugh in my face, take away the beverage they graciously offered me, and have security escort me from the dealership?

Probably not. They probably won't offer you a $10,000 discount either, but they probably won't kick you off the lot.

Negotiating Makes Me Feel Funny. Isn't the Price on the Car the Actual Price?

It shouldn't. And, no, it's not.

Purchasing a new vehicle is not just a big expense, but an investment, and it is definitely a negotiable endeavor.

Certain purchases are non-negotiable. Like when you walk into Walmart, you can’t walk up to the guy and say, "Hey, I know that TV has a $2,000 price tag, but I'll give you $1,500 for it." They will simply say “No.” and let you walk. Same thing at the supermarket, and so on. They know someone will be along in the next minute paying the posted price.

But when you're spending tens of thousands of dollars on something, you better believe you should be negotiating, and they DO NOT want to let you walk.

What is the Function of a Car Salesman? What Is His Goal?

Many people think his goal is to sell vehicles. Wrong!

Selling vehicles is a given at a car or truck dealership. The salesperson wants more than that.

The goal of the car or truck salesman is to make the dealership the most profit possible, while also satisfying the customer. This might seem like a subtle point, but the distinction is important.

Conversely, what is the purpose of the buyer? What is his goal? Is it to acquire a new vehicle? No. That's a given. The buyer's goal is to negotiate the most favorable deal on the vehicle possible.

"Profit" is not a dirty word. Remember that. Don't be bitter, or feel disenfranchised, or get upset that the dealership is going to make money off your purchase, and that the salesman is going to benefit from your sale. Be happy, because it’s quite possible that you can get a good deal, and at the same time the dealership can make money, and the salesman can make a living. There can be a real balance here.

"Excessive profit" is definitely a dirty word. Excessive profit takes equity away from the buyer. No matter what, you want to avoid negative equity as much as possible.

I'm sure many of you have heard, or will hear, from a salesman, that your new vehicle is "an investment". They will use that word “investment” as a way to persuade you to purchase certain upsells, like warranties, roadside assistance packages, leather seats, accessories, insurance, and all sorts of other stuff. And a new vehicle can absolutely be an investment, for several reasons, but it’s a low-quality investment if you pay too much for it: if you get taken on the purchase price, gutted on your trade-in, and wheeled all the way into the driver's seat by paying MSRP for a new vehicle and accepting the KBB value for your trade. Read on.

What Is MSRP, Anyway?

MSRP is an acronym that stands for Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price. This number is decided by the manufacturer—NOT the dealer.

The MSRP serves as a starting price for negotiations. Sometimes the dealer will post an "Invoice" price for the vehicle underneath the MSRP and use this as a selling point.

An exchange like the following is common ...

"Look at the invoice price," says Frank, of Bayside Toyota. "We're only making a few hundred dollars selling you this car at this price, and plus, you're getting almost one thousand dollars off MSRP."

"Oh," says Sally, as she fondles her hair nervously. "That's not too bad. I guess you can't really do much better than that, right?"

Frank smiles, thinking to himself, Excellent. We're done negotiating."Exactly. You know you're getting a good deal, and we've got to make a little something on the vehicle ..."

What Sally doesn't know is that Bayside Toyota gets a $2,000 rebate from the manufacturer every time they sell a vehicle like this. Plus, the Southeast Division of Toyota Dealerships rewards Bayside Toyota with another $3,000 of dealer cash incentive each time they sell a vehicle like this. Plus, this sale puts Bayside one vehicle closer to their corporate-mandated quota and dealer bonus check. Plus, they charge a $599.99 dealer fee (or something similar) on top of that.

Even at invoice price, the dealership might have anywhere between $2,000 and $4,000 dollars of profit to work with on a new vehicle. So imagine their margin at MSRP.

Strategies for Negotiating for a Car or Truck

You need strategies, because they have lots of strategies for how to sell to you. Some salesmen are highly trained salesmen, others are natural salesmen, and others are just going through the motions to feed their kids, but in general, salespeople have experience, knowledge, and a LOT of tricks of the trade.

What do you have? It better be more than jeans, a t-shirt, and some crumpled notes stuffed in your front pocket!

Here’s your plan:

1. Use the Internet

• Shop your vehicle on the various consumer sites
• Know what vehicle you want
• Know the MSRP
• Know the various options you want, which ones are most important, and what they cost (roughly)
• Find enthusiast forums for the vehicle you're about to purchase, join the forum, tell them what you're doing, and ask for tips and hints. You'd be amazed what people in these places know about the industry!
• Research your old car too, your trade-in. Know ALL THREE Kelly Blue Book values: Private Party, Dealer Trade-In, and Retail.

2. Know What You Can Spend

This seems like an obvious one, but whatever you do, DO NOT show up at the dealer without having firmly decided, yourself, "what your monthly payment could be.” This is a bear trap, and you will lose your leg.

3. Have Your Money

Deal with your own bank or credit union when it comes to financing. DO NOT go through the dealer. They use the terms of the loan as a bargaining trick, a price slider to confuse you, and in many cases they will mark up the interest rate they get from the lender.

Show up at the dealership with a Pre-Authorized Draft (a blank check from your bank, basically) and know that you are in charge.

Why are you in charge? Because you have the money.

I can just hear it now ... “But they have the car I want!” No. They have a car, a car that you want, and that they really want to sell you.

4. Be Upfront About Some Things

They will play psychological games with you. They're sizing you up, trying to figure you out, and trying to get you emotional about your purchase. Stay cooperative and down-to-earth. Let them know your intentions, and be honest about some facts. Tell them your name, and what you're looking for, and answer any general questions they might have.

• For example, "I am going to buy a Toyota Camry today," is an honest statement. It clearly shows your intentions, and answers an unspoken question the salesman has: Is this person buying, or just shopping? Think about it. If a salesman is trying to make a profit, and he thinks he is getting shopped, are is he going to offer his best discounts? Probably not. He offers his best deals when he knows a purchase is going to happen.
• "I'm working with several dealers right now, and I just want to be upfront about that. And, so far, I'm enjoying working with you." The first half of this statement had better be true, or I'm going to be VERY disappointed in you. If the second half of this statement is not true, do not buy from this dealership!

5. But Don't Show Your Hand

• Don’t get swept away right off. Supposing he shows you the vehicle of your dreams. It's perfect, it’s amazing. You think, “I NEED IT!” But what should you say? Something like, “OK, I see it comes with leather seats . . . that's pretty nice. The color is okay, not the exact color I was thinking. Not bad." Do yourself a favor and do NOT gush over the vehicle and beg to drive it. Wait for the salesman to offer the test-drive. You want to appear logical, calculating, and in control the whole time. Someone who is emotional is more inclined to throw logic to the winds. And they know this, and feed off of it.
• Be ready for this question, which they will definitely ask: "So what are you looking to spend?" Here, you have the advantage, because you know the answer. You know what you can spend, and you know what you want to spend. And they have nothing; that's why they’re asking the question. So don’t give up all you have unnecessarily.. If you can spend $25,000 to $30,000—the former being what you’d like to spend, and the latter pretty much breaking the bank—tell the salesman something like this. “Well, I really like this model, and this year, but this [other] model has this option that I really like. And you know, I'd like to come in right around twenty-two or twenty-three, depending on options and availability."

6. All the While, Watch the Numbers Carefully

Be ready with a pad of paper, and the whole time you’re in that cubicle working that deal, write down the numbers they tell you. You need to know the current figure of every number any time anything changes. That’s so they cannot inflate your trade allowance, and stuff it into the MSRP or the purchase price. Here are the typical numbers you need to be tracking:

• MSRP (generally includes options, processing, and destination fees)
• Discounts
• Rebates
• Purchase price
• Trade allowance (their offer on your trade)
• Dealer fee
• Tax
• Title and registration fees
• Down payment
• Balance

7. Be Confident

There are a lot of dealers, and that black, sleek, leather-trimmed V8 out there, with the word "Limited" badged on the back in chrome, is probably one out of 1,000 vehicles EXACTLY like it, that can be bought or sold at many other dealerships, besides the one that you're at.

If the deal is not going well ... walk out. Period.

So Here’s How You Cut the Deal

You just got back from the test drive. It was incredible. You could feel the engine rumbling in your belly. Just the fragrance of the barely-worn leather upholstery intoxicates you with anticipation.

The salesman looks at you. "So what do you think?"

You say, "It drives nice. I like this little feature, and this little feature, but I saw the sticker price. We're not really at my number yet."

This is when the "what-if's" start. The dealer looks at you. "Well, what if I can take $1,500 off that price? Would that help?"

"That's a start. I brought some notes, let's take a look at some figures."

Their first offer is just that. Their second offer is just that. It's the third offer, the fourth offer, and the stop-you-from-walking-out-the-door offer that you're trying to get to.

Use options to your advantage. They will try and get closer to your number by offering you less of a vehicle in some way, and unless your number is ridiculous, this is not an acceptable solution. You’ll say,"Well, I like this number we’re at, but this model doesn't have this and that, and your offer on my trade is a little low."

Get what you want for your trade, but don't be unreasonable. Since you’ve researched all three Kelly Blue Book values for your trade, you have a good idea what it’s worth.

Then he'll start throwing the what-if's out there again. What if I can throw in the DVD player, and the fancy tires, what if I give you X amount more for your trade. Would we have a deal then?

Don't say yes. Say, "We'd be closer."

He's going to ask "What is it going to take to earn your business today?" and at this point, after a few offers, a few demands, and a few counter-offers, you probably know what it would take to get you to pull the trigger—so tell him. Make him work for it.

"OK. I did it," says the salesman as he comes back from his brief meeting with the Manager. "We can throw in this bell, and that whistle, get it in that color, and give you this for your trade-in, but only if we have a commitment from you, right now."

Now you're almost at the end of the deal. You both know you're a couple turns of the screw away from a deal, and that's when you drop the competition bomb. "Well, I like where we're at here. I like the vehicle. This is a pretty good offer, I've made my notes” (and meanwhile you are actually doing that), “but like I said before, I'm working with a couple other dealers and this was my first stop on the list. So I need to at least see what they have to offer."

He suspects the other dealers are going to offer the same thing, but go that tiny bit further to make their deal better. So he's going to go that one step further himself, and sweeten the deal to keep you from walking. He's going to get up and leave again, and come back with a slightly better deal. This is the "closer.” This is as far as they will go, most likely. They will ask for a commitment.

If you like this last figure, then say, "Go back to your manager. Get a commitment from him, on this number (circle the number), with this trade figure, and these options, and if he says 'yes' we have a deal." This last request is insurance.

He'll come back with the deal you want.

So There It Is

When I started out on my own quest for a new vehicle, I not only researched the vehicle, but the salesmen, the dealerships, and the negotiating process—just like you're doing now. Research is worthwhile. It helped me seal an excellent deal.

HOW SAUDI ARABIA DANGEROUSLY UNDERMINES THE UNITED STATES

(by Ralph Peters, NY Post) — Iran is our external enemy of the moment. Saudi Arabia is our enduring internal enemy, already within our borders and permitted to poison American Muslims with its Wahhabi cult.

Oh, and Saudi Arabia’s also the spring from which the bloody waters of global jihad flowed.

Iran humiliates our sailors, but the Saudis are the spiritual jailers of hundreds of millions of Muslims, committed to intolerance, barbarity and preventing Muslims from joining the modern world. And we help.

Firm figures are elusive, but estimates are that the Saudis fund up to 80% of American mosques, at least in part. And their goal is the same here as it is elsewhere in the world where Islam must compete with other religions: to prevent Muslims from integrating into the host society.

The Saudis love having Muslims in America, since that stakes Islam’s claim, but it doesn’t want Muslims to become Americans and stray from the hate-riddled cult they’ve imposed upon a great religion.

The tragedy for the Arabs, especially, has been who got the oil wealth. It wasn’t the sophisticates of Beirut or even the religious scholars of Cairo, but Bedouins with a bitter view of faith. The Saudis and their fellow fanatics in the oil-rich Gulf states have used those riches to drag Muslims backward into the past and to spread violent jihad.

The best argument for alternative energy sources is to return the Saudis to their traditional powerlessness.

I’ve seen Saudi money at work in country after country, from Senegal to Kenya to Pakistan to Indonesia and beyond. Everywhere, their hirelings preach a stern and joyless world, along with the duty to carry out jihad (contrary to our president’s nonsense, jihad’s primary meaning is not “an inner struggle,” but expanding the reach of Islam by fire and sword).

Here’s one of the memories that haunt me. On Kenya’s old Swahili Coast, once the domain of Muslim slavers preying on black Africans, I visited a wretched Muslim slum where children, rather than learning useful skills in a state school, sat amid filth memorizing the Koran in a language they could not understand. According to locals, their parents had been bribed to take their children out of the state schools and put them in madrassas.

Naturally, educated Christians from the interior get the good jobs down on the coast. The Muslims rage at the injustice. The Christians reply, “You can’t all be mullahs — learn something!” And behold: The Saudi mission’s accomplished, the society divided.

The Saudis build Muslims mosques and madrassas but not hospitals and universities.

The basic fact our policy-makers need to grasp about the Saudis is that they couldn’t care less about the welfare of flesh-and-blood Muslims (they refuse to take in Syrian refugees but demand Europe do so). What the Saudis care about is Islam in the abstract. Countless Muslims can suffer to keep the faith pure.

The Saudis build Muslims mosques and madrassas but not hospitals and universities.

Another phenomenon I’ve witnessed is that the Saudis rush to plant mosques where there are few or no Muslims, or where the Wahhabi cult still hasn’t found roots. In Senegal, with its long tradition of humane Islam, religious scholars dismiss the Saudis as upstarts. Yet, money ultimately buys souls and the Saudis were opening mosques.

And jihadi violence is now an appealing brand.

In Mombasa, Kenya, you drive past miles of near-empty mosques. Pakistan has been utterly poisoned, with Wahhabism pushing back even the radical (but less well-funded) Deobandis, the region’s traditional Islamist hardliners.

Shamelessly, the Saudis “offered” to build 200 new mosques in Germany for the wave of migrants. That was too much even for the politically correct Germans, and Chancellor Angela Merkel’s deputy had as close to a public fit over the issue as toe-the-line Germans are permitted to do.

But our real problem is here and now, in the United States. Consider how idiotic we’ve been, allowing Saudis to fund hate mosques and madrassas, to provide Jew-baiting texts and to do their best to bully American Muslims into conformity with their misogynistic, 500-lashes worldview. Our leaders and legislators have betrayed our fellow citizens who happen to be Muslim, making it more difficult for them to integrate fully into our society.

In the long run, the Saudis will lose. The transformative genius of America will defeat the barbarism. But lives will be wrecked along the way and terror will remain our routine companion.

Why did we let this happen? Greed. Naïveté. Political correctness. Inertia. For decades, the Saudis sent ambassadors who were “just like us,” drinking expensive scotch, partying hard, playing tennis with our own political royalty, and making sure that American corporations and key individuals made money. A lot of money.

But they weren’t just like us. First of all, few of us could afford the kind of scotch they drank. More important, they had a deep anti-American, anti-liberty, play-us-for-suckers agenda.

And we let the Saudis exert control over America’s Muslim communities through their surrogates. No restrictions beyond an occasional timid request to remove a textbook or pamphlet that went too far.

Think what we’re doing: The Saudis would never let us fund a church or synagogue in Saudi Arabia. There are none. And there won’t be any.

Wouldn’t it make sense for Congress to pass a law prohibiting foreign governments, religious establishments, charities and individuals from funding religious institutions here if their countries do not reciprocate and practice religious freedom? Isn’t that common sense? And simply fair?

Saudi money even buys our silence on terrorism.

Decades ago, the Saudi royal family realized it had a problem. Even its brutal practices weren’t strict enough for its home-grown zealots. So the king and his thousands of princes gave the budding terrorists money — and aimed them outside the kingdom.

Osama bin Laden was just one extremist of thousands. The 9/11 hijackers were overwhelmingly Saudi. The roots of the jihadi movements tearing apart the Middle East today all lie deep in Wahhabism.

Which brings us to 28 pages redacted from the 9/11 Commission’s report. Those pages allegedly document Saudi complicity. Our own government kept those revelations from the American people. Because, even after 9/11, the Saudis were “our friends.”

(We won’t even admit that the Saudi goal in the energy sector today is to break American fracking operations, let alone face the damage their zealotry has caused.)

There’s now a renewed push to have those 28 pages released. Washington voices “soberly” warn that it shouldn’t be done until after the president’s upcoming encounter with the Saudi king, if at all.

Do it now. Stop bowing. Face reality.

If we’re unlucky, we may end up fighting Iran, which remains in the grip of its own corrupt theocracy — although Iranian women can vote and drive cars, and young people are allowed to be young people at about the 1950s level. But if fortune smiles and, eventually, the Iranian hardliners go, we could rebuild a relationship with the Iranians, who are the heirs of a genuine, Persian civilization. Consider how successful and all-American Iranian-Americans have become.

War with Iran will remain a tragic possibility. But the Saudi war on our citizens, on mainstream Islam, and on civilization is a here-and-now reality.

Ralph Peters is a retired United States Army lieutenant colonel, author, and media commentator. 

STUDYING TECHNIQUES FOR THE BOARD EXAM

These are my recommended studying techniques for the board exam, the licensure exams for professionals in the Philippines. I topped the exam for librarians last 2015, but these tips can also apply to other professional licensure exams.

How to be good at studying boils down to this: finding the method that works best for you and using that. In my opinion, most successful students don’t work ‘hard’ at studying, they work ’smart’ - they find the style most efficient for them, thus they don’t have to spend a lot of time studying. But don’t feel bad or compare your studying style to others if you are a bit slower - you can overcome these by effort. Your studying style is unique, and you must experiment with what works for you.

I learn best by writing, so this method served me well in college: listen to lectures and take notes, read books and take notes. When there are readings to study, I read them first from beginning to end, then the second reading is highlighting and underlining the important points, then the third reading is rewriting them in my own words. These shorter notes are what I use in study sessions. This method may look intensive but it actually saves me time. By going over the text many times, I am imprinting them in my memory. By writing the concepts in my own words, my understanding and memory is strengthened. The book that I recommend on studying is How to Study by George Fillmore Swain, its a short read and free on Project Gutenberg.

Though, the board exam is a unique test and presents its own challenges. I recommend Mila M. Ramos pamphlet, Facing the Librarian’s Licensure Examination Challenge (2014). According to her, the exam only tests basic entry level practice for librarianship so its enough to familiarize yourself with the basics. In my review, I spent time memorizing a lot of laws, LC, and DDC, but to my surprise, only few questions got out and they were the very basics! So its pretty ‘dangerous’ to just memorize, especially if you memorize things that will not go out of the exam anyway. Understanding is the key, because there will be many situational items where your decision-making will be tested.

If you are attending a review class, listen first, leave the notes for later, try to concentrate on the lecture (even if it can be difficult during the afternoon when you want to sleep). Highlight the text later, within 24 hours after the lecture. My method is reading the text, highlighting the important keywords (yellow for names, orange for dates or time periods, pink for book titles, green for general keywords to remember), underlining the brief explanation. I do this so when I review the notes again, I only read the highlighted and underlined things. Revisit the notes frequently, by intervals, so to increase your memory and retention.

If you find it hard to remember names, then associate it to a person you know. Me and my roommate used this a lot. The personages in Management and Cataloging, we used their names as nicknames for people we know. For example, there was a person named Fred Fiedler, about contingency management, there’s a dog named Fred in our boarding house and we called him by the name of the theorist and associated qualities of the concept to Fred the dog. I search the person on the net to find out about his life.

There is no such thing as being too early or alert when preparing your documents for PRC application. Constantly check schedules and announcements on their website. Be informed.

Also, while you’re on the internet, don’t just browse social networking websites. Subscribe to news sites about librarianship and find out about the latest trends. Don’t simply rely on your handouts, reviewers, and practice exams. Some questions were not tackled in the review, but fortunately I was aware of them because I read them on the net but never did I imagine they would go out of the exam. Even questions about Google Books and Second Life came out! Sometimes all those wasted hours on the internet have their advantages.

Make use of technology. Most of us now have smart phones and tablets and make use of the versatility of these devices. I have an iPad mini given to me as a gift, and I downloaded useful apps such as flashcards, voice recorders, and even brain training games such as Memorado and Luminousity (they help in keeping your mind alert). The apps I found most useful in my review are:

• Documents. I didn’t bring all my papers from Iloilo City but just placed the readings here to save space and weight in your luggage.
• Evernote. The web clipper is very useful when you’re browsing the net and you need to save the pages easily. I save biographies of notable librarians and their contributions.

Also, research review sources on the net. I still read and viewed online classes on the subjects I was studying on.

Last word: in your review, listen to other people’s suggestions, especially from those who have already passed the exam. But their style isn’t your style. Thank them for their good intentions, but do what you know is best for yourself. During my review, people said not to attend the regular review in UP because its expensive, people asking if I was already going crazy from all the studying because I didn’t have a job during the longer part of my review. These comments will eat away at your mind but don’t let them. Focus. Remember, if you pass the exam no one can say anything anymore. Not to brag, but when I topped the exam, had someone said those things again? No. Sometimes these light mocking of my serious effort can make me feel bad. But keep on! When your medal comes they’d rejoice for you and your school anyway!

Remember: the board exam isn’t hard. You just have to want to pass and direct all your effort and resources to attaining that goal. What’s harder is the real exam that comes after in the real world of librarianship. I am having a lot of challenges in my job as a librarian now. Topping the exam doesn’t mean anything in the long run if you don’t take the initiative to improve yourself and help the profession.

HANGOVER VS ALCOHOL POISONING

So You're Too Legit to Set Down that Drink?

We've all been there at least once in our lives. Saturday night rolls around and your buddies beg you to go out with them for a "few beers." Before you know it, you're crawling out of the stinky backseat of a taxicab at 4 in the morning, wishing you had never left your couch eight hours before. It takes you ten minutes just to find your keys and then you step on the innocent cat's tail on your way in the door. You collapse on the bed and fall asleep, hoping the spinning feeling will be over soon.

And then the next morning arrives, and you are HATING life. Your head is pounding and the spins are still ever-present. Are you having a normal hangover or could you be on the brink of alcohol poisoning?

Signs of a Hangover

Maybe you still reek of alcohol; maybe you can still taste the booze on your breath. Did you puke last night? You can't quite remember, but this headache is killer! How do you know if you just have a regular hangover? How do you know it's not something more?

Here are the cardinal signs that you are having a typical (but quite unpleasant) hangover:

• headache
• sensitivity to light and noise
• nausea, potential vomiting and diarrhea
• irritability, decreased attention span
• you may feel extremely tired and weak
• muscle pains are possible
• you don't want to eat much (or you may prefer to eat something filling and greasy)

Hangover symptoms are different for everyone and vary depending on the quantity of alcohol consumed in a night. Obviously the more you drink, the more intense your symptoms will be the next day. But why do we experience these symptoms and how can we avoid them? We'll find out soon enough, but let's first see how a hangover is different from alcohol poisoning.

Signs of Alcohol Poisoning

Alcohol poisoning is a step up from a hangover. It is more intense and more dangerous to one's body, and it can occur faster (a hangover is usually experienced the next day, while alcohol poisoning can be experienced around the same time as the alcohol consumption).

Alcohol poisoning can also be experienced the morning after the partying. So how can you tell the difference between a hangover and alcohol poisoning?

Here are the cardinal signs of alcohol poisoning:

• low body temperature: chills and you just can't get warm no matter what you do!
• increased heart rate, lower blood pressure
• continuous vomiting
• a difficulty breathing or slower breathing rates
• confusion or stupor
• potential seizures
• cyanotic (blue-tinged) skin around lips, nail beds, etc.

If the person experiencing these symptoms is a friend, check their body temperature with a thermometer if you are unsure. If the person is unconscious, passed out, or cannot be roused, you need to get help immediately.

What To Do If You Suspect Alcohol Poisoning

Alcohol poisoning is very serious and can be fatal. If you are with a friend and your friend begins to have trouble breathing, is vomiting profusely, is confused or in a stupor, or you notice any other signs of alcohol poisoning, call an ambulance or the poison control center immediately. You don't ever want to leave a person with alcohol poisoning in a tub or sleeping by themselves because they can lose their gag reflex. This means if they vomit and no one is around, they can easily choke on their own vomit and die.

Cold showers or baths are also not good, as the body temperature is already growing increasingly low. Wrap them up in a blanket and monitor their breathing until the ambulance arrives. Prop them up with pillows or blankets to prevent potential vomiting and aspiration (choking).

If the person is you, and you suspect that you have alcohol poisoning (hopefully you are alert enough to realize it) you need to get help. Call 9-1-1 or a poison control center to get help ASAP. If it's the next day, you might feel severely dehydrated along with the other alcohol poisoning symptoms. Rehydrate yourself with lots of water (even if you continually vomit it back up), and try to eat something filling. If you have anything beyond mild dehydration and a headache, you need to go to the hospital.

How to Avoid Alcohol Poisoning

To avoid all of this, the easiest thing to do is to control your drinking (if indeed you still plan on drinking). Stop yourself after two drinks, as hard as that might be. This will help you to avoid even a hangover the next morning and will definitely prevent you from getting alcohol poisoning. You should also be drinking water between drinks and after drinking to prevent the alcohol from dehydrating your body (alcohol is a diuretic, meaning it makes your body flush out fluids). Also, make sure you have a good heavy meal before drinking.

Never drink and drive. Call a cab or a friend!

BEST WAY TO LOSE BELLY FAT FAST

Best way to lose weight – 16 Steps to Success

Tired of the belly bulge? Want to learn how to lose belly fat or how to get a six pack? Try these 16 fat busting foods and discover the best way to finally lose belly fat for good. While losing belly fat will take a lot more than just adding a few foods to your diet, there are things you can eat that will help you trim down as quickly as possible.

Whether you are trying to lose weight or are looking for the best way to get back in shape, these belly blasting weight loss tips will get you off to a great start and keep you going over the long haul.

Lose Belly Fat Fast!

How to Lose Belly Fat

Best Way to Lose Belly Fat

Italian Olive Oil Wikimedia Commons

There are many different weight loss programs and diets available that can teach you how to lose belly fat and get into great physical condition, but it is important to understand the effects that certain foods can have on weight loss success or failure. For example, high fructose corn syrup, which is common in many prepared or convenience food items has been shown to actually promote the retention of belly fat. Understanding our body's reaction to these foods is the basis of many successful programs aimed at developing the fastest weight loss strategies. In fact, with the right types of foods it is even possible to get rid of cellulite or at least minimize its effects. This relationship between food and the body is often referred to as metabolic typing and is worth looking into.

Oatmeal –

Your mid morning hunger attack is caused by a drop in blood sugar levels. Oatmeal is rich in soluble fiber and gives you a sense of fullness and satiety. It also stays in your stomach for hours and will help stave off your morning donut run. Whole grains have also been shown to be an excellent way to lose weight fast because they can actually promote fat burning.

Tip: Avoid the flavored varieties that are loaded with extra sugar. Choose plain steel-cut or rolled oats and use stevia or berries to sweeten.

Berries –

Berries have a lot of filling fiber packed into them. Raspberries have six grams of fiber in a single cup.

Tip: Jelly is not a fruit; it’s the junk food of the fruit food group. It’s loaded with sugar and contains almost no fiber.

Olive Oil –

Fat controls hunger and is vital to proper nutrition. Stick with monounsaturated fats like canola or olive oil, they will help control cholesterol and satisfy cravings.

Tip: Avoid hydrogenated vegetable oils; they’re loaded with trans fats.

Protein Powder –

Protein powder contains important amino acids that help build muscle and burn fat. For a delicious, fat-burning drink, add two teaspoons of protein powder to your smoothie. Protein powder is usually available at most health food stores.

Tip: Watch what you put in your smoothie. Adding protein powder won’t transform an unhealthy smoothie. Use fresh fruit, low-fat milk, and yogurt.